Sunday, February 26, 2012

It's because I just want that Cinnamon Life, that's all.

Dear Patrick,

The problem with other people coexisting with you is your food is never safe. Never. Not when you live at home. Not when you live with a bunch of skinny girls. And especially not when you live with Heather Fawson. My leftovers significantly contributed to Heather's survival in Logan. But I was happy to give them to her then. Now, however, is a much different case. One of my New Year's resolutions was to eat the food I buy. Such a novel idea. And yet such a new one to me. So, I buy what I need and nothing more. But it seems that what I buy is irresistible to others in the house. I've now not eaten three boxes of my cereal- among other things. And as I was explaining my frustrations to my boss earlier this week, he says, "Just put your voodoo doll in the cereal box. That'll teach 'em."

I love my job.

Sincerely,
Adrienne

2 comments:

Heather said...

THOSE LEFTOVERS WOULD HAVE GONE BAD IF I HADN'T EATEN THEM!!!!!

sarah jane said...

Sneaking ex lax into your food will quickly turn the culprit off from stealing in the future. Morbid, yes. Effective, yes.