Sunday, February 26, 2012

It's because I just want that Cinnamon Life, that's all.

Dear Patrick,

The problem with other people coexisting with you is your food is never safe. Never. Not when you live at home. Not when you live with a bunch of skinny girls. And especially not when you live with Heather Fawson. My leftovers significantly contributed to Heather's survival in Logan. But I was happy to give them to her then. Now, however, is a much different case. One of my New Year's resolutions was to eat the food I buy. Such a novel idea. And yet such a new one to me. So, I buy what I need and nothing more. But it seems that what I buy is irresistible to others in the house. I've now not eaten three boxes of my cereal- among other things. And as I was explaining my frustrations to my boss earlier this week, he says, "Just put your voodoo doll in the cereal box. That'll teach 'em."

I love my job.

Sincerely,
Adrienne

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

It's because she's the best part of my life.

Dear Patrick,

I must first correct a wrongdoing. I became aware that my last post made my sweet, ridiculous mother look like a fool, which she is far from. She is simply the funniest person I know, hands down. And I even know MacKay Clark. So when she's yelling at me because I'm responsible for winter or when she tells Colton to say goodbye to me because I'm probably going to jail because we lost that dang jury duty summons or when she gives me a voodoo doll for Christmas, it's because she's made of pure gold, nothing different.

Now, I also need to post about Valentines Day as this was one of the best yet. This one was full of art and excitement and not one bit about loving anyone I know. But I can't post it yet. I just got my computer to start working again after months and months (Oh, those Geniuses at the Apple store are bright sparkly diamonds. They don't know what 'free' means to me. How I love them.), so I'm not prepared with the pictures that are needed. So get ready, it's coming. For real this time. I swear.

Happiest loveless day after,
Adrienne

Saturday, February 11, 2012

It's because Utah is full of other upstanding citizens more qualified for this than I am, right?

Dear Patrick,
Earlier this week my mom called while I was at work. This was the conversation we had:

Adrienne: Hello Mother.
Mom: I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW LUCKY YOU ARE. I'm SOOOOOO mad I could just spit! Why are you so lucky?! Why?!
Adrienne: Oh yeah? What happened? Who wants to give me money?
Mom: It's my DREAM to serve on a jury and they never let me! Why do you get to do it and not me?!
Adrienne: Bleh, you can do it. I don't want to.
Mom: But they'll give you 18 dollars a day!

Note: All of this was 100% serious. She was actually mad at me for getting called into jury duty because she actually wants to do it.

Pretty much all of what she said was yelled at me. Which, in turn, made me yell everything back to her. So, we continued to yell in this manner for another 6 minutes before I realized that the entire fight was ridiculous and made her hang up. Just one more reason I love my mother.

So now I think I'm in need of a Princess Leia costume and a prayer that it will work out better for me than Liz...



Judicially yours,
Adrienne