Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It's because the baby doesn't like schedules.

Dear Patrick,
My homepage is a personalized Google. It tells me the latest news on CNN, gives me three how-tos of the day, shows me the weather forecasts, and it tells me strange facts. Today in the facts box it said "Leonardo DaVinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time." I hope that's true because that is the coolest thing I've ever heard. I can't even chew gum and draw at the same time. But even if it's not true, Leonardo DaVinci is still my most favorite genius.

Welcome to Logan.
This sign is so great. Yes, in Logan we don't have professional political signs made, we make them in our garages. Hooray for small towns. And hooray for Fred Duersch. I'm voting for him for sure. Actually, I think I might just write him in for President.

Baby Spike hasn't come yet. Hopefully in the next few hours. So inconsiderate of him to come on a Wednesday, don't you think? I do.

That's all today. I have one more picture. It is of my flight over the Atlantic Ocean between the DR and Atlanta. I was the freak girl on the plane taking a billion pictures through the airplane window. This one turned out nice I think.

Love forever,

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This one is for Sarah.

Dear Patrick,
I'm obsessed with posting or something lately. Sarah has been begging for me to put up my pictures of the girl who drank out of a goat. (In case you don't remember this, one time I was in the Swiss Alps just walking around and being there and I saw a little girl with a one-legged stool strapped to her butt chase after a goat and get a drink straight from it.) Well here it is. The proof.
I'm not posting again today I swear,

This is for you, Shelby dear.

Dear Patrick,
These are the prints I made the other night. They are dry points- my least favorite of the processes. A dry point is where you use an etching tool or any other mark-making device to carve into a plexiglass plate, ink it up intaglio style, and run it through the press to make your print. For this assignment, we had six 4"x4" plates and we had to layer them together to make our final prints. These are the three I came up with. Please forgive my bad scanning skills.

This is a three plate combo. Turquoise caterpillar thing, green stars, and gray lines.
This one is just a two plater. Gray flowers and white lines. It also has a layer of yellow that I rolled on relief style. It's subtle and a little dull on purpose because it is a ghost print. Explanation: I made a real print and then ran the plate through the press again with the leftover ink that was still on it. I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense.
This is my moneymaker. I'm most proud of it. I'm just so happy with the way it all turned out. It's has three plates. Blue vignetting, yellow stars, and the hands that were printed twice. The original plate only had the hands in one direction. Please excuse the bad plate indentations, they'll be gone soon I promise. I just love it. Tallopi, please say hello to your print.

If anyone is interested, we are having a print sale in the beginning of November. I can't remember the exact dates right now... could be the 2nd and 3rd... but I'll keep you posted. It should be pretty killer because it was last year. We have A LOT of extremely talented printmakers at this school. So... I think you should all come up and buy everything you see. What is better than a bunch of brilliant prints at cheap, cheap prices? Nothing. Nothing in the world. BUT WAIT, there's more! The Ceramics Guild is having their semi-annual sale on the same two days and they are pretty amazing as well. So just do it already. Thank you.


It's because I don't want to go to school.

Dear Patrick,
I was wrong. God knows exactly what He's doing. I want this camera. It's supposed to hold the same amount of awesomeness as my holga but it has a twin lens and shoots in 35mm. It's called Blackbird, fly. It'll come out later this year. I want.


Sunday, September 21, 2008

It's because God likes to laugh. At me.

Dear Patrick,
My best friend Matt and I decided this week that I'm living a fake life. I'm pretty sure everyone I know is schizo and I am your imaginary nutcase of a friend. Shall we talk about it? Yes. Let us begin:
Point 1:
Just one more reason why you're awesome, Marcel DuChamp.

Point 2:
Yay! My print was in the newspaper. Ok, now the ridiculous part. Read the caption. Bah ha ha "Artwork by Mackay Clark." Oh he just loves the thunder. Kidding. At least they threw my name in as a side note in little letters under his. I wish they would've written "Artwork by Mackay Clark featuring Adrienne Smart" because that's basically what it was. He is my dictator but I do all the work. Lies.

Point 3: Today I saw a man waiting for the bus with a Burger King crown on his head. That's right. Man. Probably early sixties. By himself. Crown.

Point 4: Whenever I say something absolutely insane to someone, it will always come back to punch me in the kidneys. And FAST too. Happened a few minutes ago. Awesome. It always seems to be exactly when I think I've finally done something right.
"Adrienne, you are just never right. You should have learned that by now"
I know.

Point 5: I spent my Friday night in the printmaking studio. I hosted my own print jam because I was unable to make the real print jam on Thursday on account of a lame test the next day. In all actuality, I just went by myself and listened to The Book Thief and made my sweet sweet prints til little baby morning hours. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm regular despite what everyone says. Not so. I'm practically a recluse. Maybe even a brown recluse. Do they have spots? Maybe I'll post my sweet sweet prints at some point. But maybe not. These suckers turned out like magic and ponies and those swirly red and orange popsicles. And I like that.

Point 6: I have been sucked right back into the Grey's Anatomy trap that I thought I was free from. Turns out I'm not. Turns out I like to watch other people's drama instead of living in my own.

Wouldn't it just be so much nicer if the world were just logical and everything had a right and wrong answer? Like everything is black and white. No gray. Wouldn't it be so great if you didn't have to worry about feelings and emotions or what'll happen in the future? I think so. I hate to feel. I'm tired of feeling what I'm feeling. Do I need to repost that Mason Jennings song that seems to hold me captive? And why is it that the Ditty Bops write songs about my life? I don't even know Abby or Amanda personally. It's getting a little bit sick.

Last, I found this guy today. He makes some killer photos. His name is Brandon Merkel and he is just good at stuff and I want to be good at stuff like him. This one has beautiful beautiful colors and I just want to marry them. Mostly I just want to marry the lavender light coming through the window because it compliments that yellow wall so well. But I also want to have a quick affair with the orange in the weird dead leaves because it makes the teal floor look like magic and ponies. I really should learn better synonyms for "good". I've already used that line in this post.

Geez I write long posts. Sorry. And I just realized that I didn't even touch on the fact that I'm fake. Oh well.
Love forever,

Song of the weblog: Crown by Mason Jennings
"I don't wanna be together,
I don't wanna be apart,
I don't want none of this love for ya honey
Deep, deep down in my heart."

Monday, September 15, 2008

It's because I have a one track mind when it comes to my stomach.

Dear Brooke Smith Brough,
I miss you like crazy. We should be friends again. We are really, really funny when we're friends. Email this email: asmart88@gmail.com.

Dear Patrick,
I got a new book the other day. Raise your hand if you knew I could read. Yes, I do only read at a fourth grade level but I don't see a reason why I would need any more. I understand most of the words in the Series of Unfortunate events and when I don't, Lemony Snicket usually explains them for me. He wrote the book I just bought. It is called Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid. Lemony Snicket is my favorite because he has cynical humor like I do. He was probably deemed the bitter child by his mother, too. Anyway, it's basically a bunch of very wise sayings. Here are a few that made me smile.

"The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world, you'll see that teachers aren't particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as 'Nobody can do anything.'"

"Normally it is not polite to go into somebody's room without knocking, but you can make an exception if that person is dead. Or pretending to be dead."

"There is something wonderful about returning home at the end of a long day, even if there is tuna fish for dinner."

Don't you love him too? He knows how to appeal to my fourth grade humor.

Other news:
  • My apartment smells of weird food. Always.
  • A deer impaled itself on my fence on Saturday and died in my backyard. If you want to see how its tongue looked, ask Phil.
  • Candace is the meanest mom ever.
  • Candace is my favoritest friend.
  • Candace is leaving me here to rot in December.
  • Candace likes kittens and hates cats.
  • Candace and I have conversations in our sleep.
  • Candace is reading what I write.
  • I'd probably want to vote for McCain if his running mate was actually Tina Fey.
Love forever,

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's because it's much too late for me to think of it all at once

Dear Patrick,
I have a lot to say but it's late and I really just want to show you this gem:
Yes, that IS a baked potato. Congratulations Idaho, you are the most retarded state ever.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

It's Brooke.

Dear Patrick,
I made this in school today. Ok. Lied. I made it last week. I like to pretend I'm prompt.
It's a cyanotype. I brushed the chemistry onto a piece of paper and sandwiched it and my neg between some glass and let the sun develop it. Super easy but I think it's neat.
That's all.
Much love,

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's because I remember cool things sometimes

Dear Patrick,
I found this a while ago but I remembered how cool it was today. Ok so this is a parking garage and you have to be at the right angle for it to work but it's so boss. For example, this top picture shows it just right but the next two show what they had to do to make it look that way! I wish I was smart enough to figure out how to do cool things like this.
Random post. Random brain.
Love always,

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

It's because I have to go to school again.

Dear Patrick,
I'm sure you're tired of looking at my orphan baby but I just have to keep posting him and keep posting him. I am not allowed to take pictures of cute things like this at school. If only I knew enough to photoshop in a kitten and maybe some daisies too. Then I'd be kicked out of the photo program for sure. Good thing I always have Printmaking. They would only make fun of me for the next four or five months but secretly applaud the retardedness of the picture. We like all things ridiculous in the print lab.

My only summer friend, Ben, brought me the best souvenir of my entire life times 3. Behold:

That is no ordinary Coca Cola. That is a REAL European Coca Cola. You can tell it's real because you can't read the ingredients. And it's in a glass bottle even. Do you know how much I love EuroCoke? Probably about as much as I don't love hiking. Except more. And it only cost me one billion dollars. Still need to pay that...

"Just go to bed already, Adrienne. You have nothing else to say."

I have nothing else to say,

It's because I love you Mason Jennings. Where have you been all my life?

Dear Patrick,
That's all I really had to say.
Love, Adrienne
Song of the weblog:
Crown by Mason Jennings
"I don't wanna be together,
I don't wanna be apart,
I don't want none of this love for ya honey
Deep, deep down in my heart"

Monday, September 1, 2008

It's because even the poor kids are victims of technology.

Dear Patrick,
Two pictures today. The first is a picture of me. All the little kids wanted to take pictures of me with my camera. Scared the crap out of me. I couldn't ever let go of my camera strap because I was always nervous that they would drop it. It was funny because they didn't understand why my screen had numbers on it and I had to teach them how to look through the viewfinder. This one was the best out of all of them...most of them didn't even get me in the frame.
I dedicate this picture to Sarah Jane Ryther. She always likes the thugs.
So I realize that neither of these pictures show any sort of skill or quality but I love them so don't tell me that they suck, okie dokie?
Much lovin,