Tuesday, December 30, 2008

It's because I still stay up all night. Still.

Dear Patrick,
Most of the time I just post photos from my cellphone because I'm lazy.

Sometimes I get hooked on the internet and finding new artists and following their links to more new artists and following their links and on and on til my eyes fall out and my brain is plain oatmeal. With a few raisins.

Today I scanned in some of my photos from my color class this semester. They are bad quality and a little bit strange because my scanner is mediocre and they originally came from film. But I'm posting them anyway so that I get over my fears already. This is part of my mini series that I took of the windows of the little shop where I volunteer. The first is taken with a holga, the rest with my 35mm.
Long live film,

Friday, December 19, 2008

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

Dear Patrick,
This is my art family.
Ashlee (scares easily), MacKay (we're practically married), Matt (my BFF), Whit (doesn't like it when your trains lay down), Capital G (my godkitten), Katie (horses, horses, horses, and pie), Brandt (commonly known as "Big Brother"), Darci (only a child), Nicole (adopted. She's half Asian), and me (wearing pants just for the picture).

Like what you see? There are MANY more at openfaced.blogspot.com.
AdrienneHe forgot to check our passes that night.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's because the only thing worse than Christmas music is country Christmas music.

Dear Patrick,
Sometimes when I have nothing to do, I do absolutely nothing. Sometimes when I have a billion things to do, I seem to find time to do a billion things plus an extra ten more things. Explanation? I don't know. I don't get it either. Last week I had so so so much to do that I got 18 hours of sleep total. This week, I sleep 18 hours a night and I have watched more tv than in the rest of the semester combined times 12. Laziest person alive? Yes, I am. Thank you.

So. I got an early Christmas present yesterday from one of my favorite ladies in my ward. I don't know how she found this book but I love her more for it. Don't you just love punctuation?I would marry the author if she weren't old and a woman. I bet she shares my outrage for all the Christmas cards from the Anderson's or the Johnson's. Do we need another apostrophe lesson? Your family is more than one Peterson so that makes you the Petersons, not the Peterson's because that doesn't make any sense. Try again next year.

I'm out of school and out of that hell-hole that was my apartment. Yes, sadly I wont have any more raw chicken left out on my counter or snotty notes left for me on the whiteboard. I've washed the squalor off of my dishes and I'm moving on to smaller and more colorful walls. But I am sad that this marks the end of living with my wife, Candace. I don't know how I'm going to survive the next couple years without her. She is the only one who makes sure that I eat things other than Swedish Fish. Maybe she'll get tired of New Zealand and being an adult and move back to Logan where she belongs. Cross your fingers for me.

Blabbed enough. Going to bed.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

It's because I got 45 minutes of sleep last night. That's why I look the way I do, ok?

Dear Patrick,
Today I found the Pho-Ho-Hotobooth. Best invention ever. Observe:

I think I'm the cutest with the headwrap. What do you think?

Merry Christmas,

Monday, December 1, 2008

It's because sleep isn't in my schedule.

Dear Patrick,
My days are numbered.

"Adrienne, you stupid girl, you have much too much to do. Why are you blogging?"
I really don't know.

But I need to tell you about some very important things in my life.

A. Christmas is officially here. How do I know? This:
Can't tell what that is? Here is a close up:

I love Christmas. This ugly thing brings Christmas to our family. And then it sucks out our souls, of course. Let me explain. Once upon a time, my father and my uncle, Steve, made hideous elves to decorate malls at Christmas time. We still have some of them. This is one of the tamer ones. And because they are made of everything horrible and evil, we secretly pass them around four houses at Christmas time, hoping to scare the pee out of as many people as possible. One of my favorite times was when someone put a knife in the hand of the elf and hung it in my cousin's closet, ready to stab. We really get into the true spirit of Christmas.

B. My art family started a blog. Most of my family is graduating sometime this year and we wanted a way to keep in contact. We plan on putting current projects and all sorts of madness on it. It is already brilliant. The address is openfaced.blogspot.com. Yes. We love ourselves.

C. Welcome to finals week. This is my printmaking drawer. No room for projects, hello.

That is all.


Monday, November 24, 2008

It's because no words can explain this level awesomeness.

It's because you can call me Meg White if you want to.

Dear Patrick,

This weekend our mothers went away. Between Darci and me, I think we might have easily eaten a good 85 one-point pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. We had them for a solid four meals plus dessert and snacks. We also had one large meal of pie.

Dear Candace and McKell,
We shouldn't be left on our own. We're only children.
Love, Adrienne

Come see my show already.

Love and some verses,

Sunday, November 16, 2008

It's because I'm good at being uncomfortable so I can't stop staying exactly the same.

Dear Patrick,
Everyone is already getting excited for Christmas. It's all anyone can talk about. I think I'll talk about it too because I like to follow the crowd. I hate Christmas music. Hate. It. I can handle it in the grocery store and it's expected at family parties and whatever but I refuse to listen to it on my own. On November 1st, I was driving my mother's car and because of her lack of a cd collection, I was listening to the radio. Curse you, kosy 106.5. November 1st? Really? Why do you feel the need to start so early? It's just the same songs over and over... why not start December 1st? And the real question is, does anyone even like that Christmas Shoes song? Anyone? Anyone?

I went to dinner with some of my family in Ogden on Friday. My Ogden family is some of my most favorite of all of my family. I think this picture goes without explanation:My morbid humor must come from the Price side. I think they could amuse me for days. I love love love them. Somewhere in between playing head hockey across the table and getting paid to swear, I decided that I need to see them much more often than I do.

One more item of business, our undergrad art show went up yesterday. I'm pretty excited about it because a lot of good stuff was entered this year. I put in a couple things and if you want to see it, you are very welcome to come up and visit me. I promise I wont be mean.

That's all today. I'm trying really hard to make my boring go away but it just won't go. Maybe next time.

Love always,

Saturday, November 8, 2008

It's because I have a short friend checking my blog ten times a day to see if I'm ok. I am.

Dear Patrick,
It has been much too long. So long that I think I've probably lost my insanity. I think I've turned into a regular person with regular posts. I thought I was ready to take my title back from Shelby but I'm afraid that this post is going to be so boring that she's going to have to hold on to it forever. Sorry.

So, let's talk about voting. That should be boring enough. I voted this week for the first time. Sorry Och. I've always celebrated election day like any other holiday but I wasn't registered in Logan til now. It was very exciting. And after having my own presidential debate in my head, I really feel like I made the right decision. Maybe not the decision that anyone expected out of me... but it was the right decision. And I got to wear my t shirt that has been months in the making:
(I didn't get to add this great picture earlier because I was dealing with a PC. Boo PCs.)

Moving on, I have the best friends in the world. It is amazing how well they take care of me. There are a few people who keep tabs on me every single day. There are a few people who have paid attention to my crazy ramblings over the last year enough to fill a newsprint lined laundry basket with fish shaped foods and my favorite toaster strudels. (I only eat things that are fish shaped. And toaster strudels.) There are a few people who quietly do things under the radar without the tiniest bit of selfishness. There is one person who I will be forever grateful to for driving much too fast and saving my life. They talk about it when I want to talk about it but don't when I don't. I'm only hugged on rare occasions and they ignore the fact that my eyes are red and treat me like they aren't. That last line sounds a little cold but if you know me at all, you know that's how I prefer it. AND, in the week I was gone, two people put together the nicest present I have EVER received in my life. I wish all of you could see it. They made a book full of art from tons of people all over the art department. I am still in awe over it. I can't believe how many people care about me enough to give up their beautiful art that they could easily sell for big bucks. I am so lucky. I am SO lucky.

I planned on saying a lot of other things in this post but since I turned boring, I forgot it all.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

It's because my dad is a tulip.

I can't write this right now. One day I will. I love my dad. He's a great man. And I'll miss him like crazy. Especially as a tulip.

His funeral is this Wednesday at noon at the Sandy Lone Peak Stake Center on Wasatch Blvd. Please come.
There is also a viewing the night before at Larkin Mortuary from 6:00 to 8:00.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's because it's all about politics. It's always about politics.

Dear Patrick,
A few months ago I had heard that crazy Superdell from Totally Awesome Computers was running for governor but I forgot about it until we got the Utah Voter Information pamphlet in the mail... and it has changed my life. We were talking politics in the print lab last night and I said "So, who's voting for Superdell?" And no one knew about it. I was shocked. This is the funniest thing to hit election day that I know of. So, just so that no one else misses out on the little caption (I don't know the correct term) under his picture in the voter pamphlet, I'll write it in right now for you. Enjoy.

"SUPERDELL is your only choice because YOU didn't file. Huntsman took away your freedoms and raised taxes more than any other governor in the history of Utah. Springmeyer has admitted that he doesn't care about the Constitution. The definition of the word insane is voting for the same people while expecting change. There is no question that Dell Schanze is different. There are only 3 people on the ballot and SUPERDELL is the only one that is NOT socialist. If you are unsure then fill your heart with love, completely open your mind and pray to God earnestly. You can't afford to get this wrong and be held accountable for your choice."

Dear Superdell,
Are you serious? You are the definition of the word insane.

It creeps me out that his face is in my blog, but it just wouldn't be complete without it.

On another note, the print sale is really the 6th and 7th of November. So get rich and come buy stuff. I'll give you a cookie.

My head is a zombie head,

Friday, October 17, 2008

It's because Noah's Ark came to my house one day.

Dear Patrick,
I have recently become a mother. I didn't have a baby. I don't support babies having babies. But my BFF Matt and his wife Whit went to Disneyland for a week and left me with their baby, or kitten, Capital G. He is the tiniest kitten ever recorded. That's a lie. But he is very tiny and I have turned into a mother. Good thing I already had the hair. He requires all of my time and energy. I have to kitten proof my room. He wakes me up in the morning because he is hungry. He cries if I don't hold him while I do the dishes. He thinks I am the best chew toy. He is like a real baby. And I love him like a real baby.

This is Capital G.
He doesn't look extra tiny in that picture, but he really is. He fits nicely in my sweatshirt pocket.
Please don't tell my landlord. I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have kittens.

On a funnier note, the people in my apartment complex are completely retarded. I really got a kick out of this: That is the door to my building. Are they really so dumb that they didn't read the "$100 FINE" part? And the best part is, it basically told everything about them just in case the landlord wanted to come and get that $100 fine.

Dear Apartment 22,
Modbe isn't worth it. I promise
Love, Adrienne

Next, I love these three girls more than money. That's all.

Have a lovely fall break,

Sunday, October 12, 2008

It's because I like tic tacs too.

Dear Michael Cera,
If you are anything like the character you play in every movie slash television series, I think we would get along great. Yes. And I think we should get married.
Eternally yours,

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

It's because we have the right to vote for whichever sucker we want.

Dear George Washington,
Who would you vote for to lead your country today?

Option A:

Barack "Any change must be good change" Obama

Option B:

John "How many times can I say Maverick" McCain

Yeah, neither of them are looking that promising. I think I'm going with secret write-in Option C:

Tina Fey

Friday, October 3, 2008

It's because we should be put in a mental hospital

Dear Patrick,
I met Spike today. We are friends now. His real name is Stockton Reed Reschke. He is very photogenic. I just had to keep snapping pictures. Brooke and I were testing mustaches to see which one looked best. Please help us decide.

Option 1:
Possibly an early Salvador Dali.

Option 2:
Our little dictator.

Option 3:
Cap'n Crunch... or maybe Bella Karolyi?
My personal favorite.

Yours truly,
Wicked Aunt Adrienne

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Welcome to the world, Spike the Rockerchild Science Reschke

Dear Patrick,
This is my new baby. He came in today at about 2:30 PM, weighing 7 lbs. 1 oz. Congratulations Laura and Ben, you made a baby! I'm so so excited. Sadly, I'm stuck in Logan til Friday but I'm anxious to meet this little guy. I'm sure we'll be friends. I think this picture makes him look a bit like a garden gnome... but we've needed a garden gnome for a while and he's a cute one so I think we'll keep him.XOXO,
Auntie Ady

PS There are much better pictures on Laura and Ben's blog. Check them out. He's a cutie.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It's because the baby doesn't like schedules.

Dear Patrick,
My homepage is a personalized Google. It tells me the latest news on CNN, gives me three how-tos of the day, shows me the weather forecasts, and it tells me strange facts. Today in the facts box it said "Leonardo DaVinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time." I hope that's true because that is the coolest thing I've ever heard. I can't even chew gum and draw at the same time. But even if it's not true, Leonardo DaVinci is still my most favorite genius.

Welcome to Logan.
This sign is so great. Yes, in Logan we don't have professional political signs made, we make them in our garages. Hooray for small towns. And hooray for Fred Duersch. I'm voting for him for sure. Actually, I think I might just write him in for President.

Baby Spike hasn't come yet. Hopefully in the next few hours. So inconsiderate of him to come on a Wednesday, don't you think? I do.

That's all today. I have one more picture. It is of my flight over the Atlantic Ocean between the DR and Atlanta. I was the freak girl on the plane taking a billion pictures through the airplane window. This one turned out nice I think.

Love forever,

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This one is for Sarah.

Dear Patrick,
I'm obsessed with posting or something lately. Sarah has been begging for me to put up my pictures of the girl who drank out of a goat. (In case you don't remember this, one time I was in the Swiss Alps just walking around and being there and I saw a little girl with a one-legged stool strapped to her butt chase after a goat and get a drink straight from it.) Well here it is. The proof.
I'm not posting again today I swear,

This is for you, Shelby dear.

Dear Patrick,
These are the prints I made the other night. They are dry points- my least favorite of the processes. A dry point is where you use an etching tool or any other mark-making device to carve into a plexiglass plate, ink it up intaglio style, and run it through the press to make your print. For this assignment, we had six 4"x4" plates and we had to layer them together to make our final prints. These are the three I came up with. Please forgive my bad scanning skills.

This is a three plate combo. Turquoise caterpillar thing, green stars, and gray lines.
This one is just a two plater. Gray flowers and white lines. It also has a layer of yellow that I rolled on relief style. It's subtle and a little dull on purpose because it is a ghost print. Explanation: I made a real print and then ran the plate through the press again with the leftover ink that was still on it. I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense.
This is my moneymaker. I'm most proud of it. I'm just so happy with the way it all turned out. It's has three plates. Blue vignetting, yellow stars, and the hands that were printed twice. The original plate only had the hands in one direction. Please excuse the bad plate indentations, they'll be gone soon I promise. I just love it. Tallopi, please say hello to your print.

If anyone is interested, we are having a print sale in the beginning of November. I can't remember the exact dates right now... could be the 2nd and 3rd... but I'll keep you posted. It should be pretty killer because it was last year. We have A LOT of extremely talented printmakers at this school. So... I think you should all come up and buy everything you see. What is better than a bunch of brilliant prints at cheap, cheap prices? Nothing. Nothing in the world. BUT WAIT, there's more! The Ceramics Guild is having their semi-annual sale on the same two days and they are pretty amazing as well. So just do it already. Thank you.


It's because I don't want to go to school.

Dear Patrick,
I was wrong. God knows exactly what He's doing. I want this camera. It's supposed to hold the same amount of awesomeness as my holga but it has a twin lens and shoots in 35mm. It's called Blackbird, fly. It'll come out later this year. I want.


Sunday, September 21, 2008

It's because God likes to laugh. At me.

Dear Patrick,
My best friend Matt and I decided this week that I'm living a fake life. I'm pretty sure everyone I know is schizo and I am your imaginary nutcase of a friend. Shall we talk about it? Yes. Let us begin:
Point 1:
Just one more reason why you're awesome, Marcel DuChamp.

Point 2:
Yay! My print was in the newspaper. Ok, now the ridiculous part. Read the caption. Bah ha ha "Artwork by Mackay Clark." Oh he just loves the thunder. Kidding. At least they threw my name in as a side note in little letters under his. I wish they would've written "Artwork by Mackay Clark featuring Adrienne Smart" because that's basically what it was. He is my dictator but I do all the work. Lies.

Point 3: Today I saw a man waiting for the bus with a Burger King crown on his head. That's right. Man. Probably early sixties. By himself. Crown.

Point 4: Whenever I say something absolutely insane to someone, it will always come back to punch me in the kidneys. And FAST too. Happened a few minutes ago. Awesome. It always seems to be exactly when I think I've finally done something right.
"Adrienne, you are just never right. You should have learned that by now"
I know.

Point 5: I spent my Friday night in the printmaking studio. I hosted my own print jam because I was unable to make the real print jam on Thursday on account of a lame test the next day. In all actuality, I just went by myself and listened to The Book Thief and made my sweet sweet prints til little baby morning hours. Sometimes I tell myself that I'm regular despite what everyone says. Not so. I'm practically a recluse. Maybe even a brown recluse. Do they have spots? Maybe I'll post my sweet sweet prints at some point. But maybe not. These suckers turned out like magic and ponies and those swirly red and orange popsicles. And I like that.

Point 6: I have been sucked right back into the Grey's Anatomy trap that I thought I was free from. Turns out I'm not. Turns out I like to watch other people's drama instead of living in my own.

Wouldn't it just be so much nicer if the world were just logical and everything had a right and wrong answer? Like everything is black and white. No gray. Wouldn't it be so great if you didn't have to worry about feelings and emotions or what'll happen in the future? I think so. I hate to feel. I'm tired of feeling what I'm feeling. Do I need to repost that Mason Jennings song that seems to hold me captive? And why is it that the Ditty Bops write songs about my life? I don't even know Abby or Amanda personally. It's getting a little bit sick.

Last, I found this guy today. He makes some killer photos. His name is Brandon Merkel and he is just good at stuff and I want to be good at stuff like him. This one has beautiful beautiful colors and I just want to marry them. Mostly I just want to marry the lavender light coming through the window because it compliments that yellow wall so well. But I also want to have a quick affair with the orange in the weird dead leaves because it makes the teal floor look like magic and ponies. I really should learn better synonyms for "good". I've already used that line in this post.

Geez I write long posts. Sorry. And I just realized that I didn't even touch on the fact that I'm fake. Oh well.
Love forever,

Song of the weblog: Crown by Mason Jennings
"I don't wanna be together,
I don't wanna be apart,
I don't want none of this love for ya honey
Deep, deep down in my heart."

Monday, September 15, 2008

It's because I have a one track mind when it comes to my stomach.

Dear Brooke Smith Brough,
I miss you like crazy. We should be friends again. We are really, really funny when we're friends. Email this email: asmart88@gmail.com.

Dear Patrick,
I got a new book the other day. Raise your hand if you knew I could read. Yes, I do only read at a fourth grade level but I don't see a reason why I would need any more. I understand most of the words in the Series of Unfortunate events and when I don't, Lemony Snicket usually explains them for me. He wrote the book I just bought. It is called Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid. Lemony Snicket is my favorite because he has cynical humor like I do. He was probably deemed the bitter child by his mother, too. Anyway, it's basically a bunch of very wise sayings. Here are a few that made me smile.

"The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world, you'll see that teachers aren't particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as 'Nobody can do anything.'"

"Normally it is not polite to go into somebody's room without knocking, but you can make an exception if that person is dead. Or pretending to be dead."

"There is something wonderful about returning home at the end of a long day, even if there is tuna fish for dinner."

Don't you love him too? He knows how to appeal to my fourth grade humor.

Other news:
  • My apartment smells of weird food. Always.
  • A deer impaled itself on my fence on Saturday and died in my backyard. If you want to see how its tongue looked, ask Phil.
  • Candace is the meanest mom ever.
  • Candace is my favoritest friend.
  • Candace is leaving me here to rot in December.
  • Candace likes kittens and hates cats.
  • Candace and I have conversations in our sleep.
  • Candace is reading what I write.
  • I'd probably want to vote for McCain if his running mate was actually Tina Fey.
Love forever,

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's because it's much too late for me to think of it all at once

Dear Patrick,
I have a lot to say but it's late and I really just want to show you this gem:
Yes, that IS a baked potato. Congratulations Idaho, you are the most retarded state ever.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

It's Brooke.

Dear Patrick,
I made this in school today. Ok. Lied. I made it last week. I like to pretend I'm prompt.
It's a cyanotype. I brushed the chemistry onto a piece of paper and sandwiched it and my neg between some glass and let the sun develop it. Super easy but I think it's neat.
That's all.
Much love,

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's because I remember cool things sometimes

Dear Patrick,
I found this a while ago but I remembered how cool it was today. Ok so this is a parking garage and you have to be at the right angle for it to work but it's so boss. For example, this top picture shows it just right but the next two show what they had to do to make it look that way! I wish I was smart enough to figure out how to do cool things like this.
Random post. Random brain.
Love always,

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

It's because I have to go to school again.

Dear Patrick,
I'm sure you're tired of looking at my orphan baby but I just have to keep posting him and keep posting him. I am not allowed to take pictures of cute things like this at school. If only I knew enough to photoshop in a kitten and maybe some daisies too. Then I'd be kicked out of the photo program for sure. Good thing I always have Printmaking. They would only make fun of me for the next four or five months but secretly applaud the retardedness of the picture. We like all things ridiculous in the print lab.

My only summer friend, Ben, brought me the best souvenir of my entire life times 3. Behold:

That is no ordinary Coca Cola. That is a REAL European Coca Cola. You can tell it's real because you can't read the ingredients. And it's in a glass bottle even. Do you know how much I love EuroCoke? Probably about as much as I don't love hiking. Except more. And it only cost me one billion dollars. Still need to pay that...

"Just go to bed already, Adrienne. You have nothing else to say."

I have nothing else to say,

It's because I love you Mason Jennings. Where have you been all my life?

Dear Patrick,
That's all I really had to say.
Love, Adrienne
Song of the weblog:
Crown by Mason Jennings
"I don't wanna be together,
I don't wanna be apart,
I don't want none of this love for ya honey
Deep, deep down in my heart"

Monday, September 1, 2008

It's because even the poor kids are victims of technology.

Dear Patrick,
Two pictures today. The first is a picture of me. All the little kids wanted to take pictures of me with my camera. Scared the crap out of me. I couldn't ever let go of my camera strap because I was always nervous that they would drop it. It was funny because they didn't understand why my screen had numbers on it and I had to teach them how to look through the viewfinder. This one was the best out of all of them...most of them didn't even get me in the frame.
I dedicate this picture to Sarah Jane Ryther. She always likes the thugs.
So I realize that neither of these pictures show any sort of skill or quality but I love them so don't tell me that they suck, okie dokie?
Much lovin,